Unexpected triggers

In taking this journey there have been many things that have been easy to identify as triggers for my eating (stress, fatigue, etc). As I have set out to make lifestyle changes, I knew there would be foods or events that would trigger old habits. What I wasn't expecting were things that triggered old ways of thinking - emotional triggers that cause negative thoughts and feelings to resurface.

It happened today. I ran into someone I had not seen in at least a year. Upon seeing her, I noticed that she had lost quite a bit of weight. While I felt no ill toward her, I instantly felt self-conscious about my own weight. My recent changes of loving my body were suddenly transformed back to square one with thoughts of how much I hate how I look right now. I didn't catch myself right away - for probably 10 minutes or more I wallowed in this!!

Thankfully, though, because I've asked the Lord to guide me, after those 10 minutes I suddenly realized where my thoughts, emotions and feelings were going and said "STOP!". I immediately started reminding myself that I do indeed LOVE my body and that I am taking steps to demonstrate that love by making these life changes.

This whole thing truly caught me off guard. I know very well the feeling of tripping over old habits related to eating or ignoring the need to exercise - but steering clear of triggers to the emotional side was quite new. I'm thankful for it - I've spen the evening asking the Lord to help me identify the traps sooner and to help me continue to love my body.

Sigh..... this sure isn't an easy journey - at least not all the time!

One nice victory to report, however :-) .... tonight we had a rowing meeting and there was a Costco cake being served. For the first time (probably in my life!) I had no desire to eat any - AND I had no struggle to avoid it. Normally the entire meeting would have been filled with internal dialoge of "I'm not going to have any" followed by devouring a piece after all. VICTORY! Praise Jesus!

Onward!