Instrument Rating

On our drive to school this morning, Meg asked "Mom how do planes fly in fog like this?" It was very thick around the lake - from our side we couldn't see the homes on the other side. I explained that some pilots take extra training and receive an Instrument Rating allowing them to fly their plane using the instruments only.

She asked how that works, and as I was explaining, I realized that the fog and the image of flying by instruments is a lot like my journey with my health. Basically, when everything is going well in life, and I don't have weight issues it is like flying on a sunny day. I cruise along, checking familiar landmarks to get my bearings, soaring above any troubles. But when the fog of life settles in and I can't find my way, I have to rely on my instruments - the power of the Holy Spirit!

In the last year as I struggled with escalating weight, compulsive overeating and the depression that ensued, I was feeling that fog start to envelope me. It kept me from seeing God's love for me, eventually leading to self-hatred of my body. It was a viscious cycle - the heavier I became the more I felt like I was flying in a fog - but without instruments.

On that day last month when I asked for the Lord's help and made my journey public, I received my Instrument Rating! I received the tools I needed to navigate through being overwhelmed by my weight issues - the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit. He showed me how to surrender, to love my body, and to trust him. I turn to my "instruments" at least daily (sometimes minute-to-minute) to make sure I continue to fly through the fog.

The best news: the fog is lifting! I've trusted the Lord, relied on Him and each day seems easier than the one before. I do still get caught off guard by unexpected pockets of thick fog - this weekend for instance, Dave made cookies for the rowing club. I didn't have the desire to eat one, but on one pass through the kitchen I almost reached for one! I realized that my grazing habit was rearing its ugly head. Unlike so many years past, however, I immediately recognized the impulse to unconsciously reach for the cookie and didn't take one! Victory! Safe Landing with Instruments!

Onward!