Ouch!

Ever notice that when God works on you it is sometimes ever so slightly painful? I've had an interesting couple of days since my discouragement post. I kept wanting to come here and post, but God kept whispering in my ear "just talk to me". I realized that I am needing to spend time with him first and then write here - not the other way around. So I put the brakes on a few times and just let him work a few things out with me.

One word that kept coming up since yesterday was surrender. Surrender. I surrender. I surrender all. Kept hearing it over and over. I can do anything under the sun to try to be healthier and lose weight - but until I truly surrender it all to him, until I lay it at the foot of the cross and not pick it up, then I will continue to be discouraged and frustrated. And what is the "it" I am surrendering? My life. My vain desires to "look better" or "be smaller", etc, and to submit to God's Holy desires for me - offering my body as a sacrifice to him in order for it to be a temple of his sprit, giving up my desires for what tastes good or is easy to prepare and choose nutritious foods, to prioritize my time better in order to exercise my body the way he designed it. Taking the focus off ME and putting it on God and God alone.

Easier said than done, but I am trying. And it is no coincidence that I am currently reading a book called "Crazy Love". My sweet friend Amy recommended it, and she and I along with another friend are reading/studying together with the book.

I was going to post some of my notes from reading the book... but exhaustion has set in and that will have to wait until tomorrow.

Until then.... onward!